How to learn who positively influences your "nearly grown" child and why
We parents are time-challenged in nearly every way possible. Just keeping our head above water is demanding. After working with many students, we want to share 3 simple questions that can help parents learn more about their nearly-flown kids and how to use it for this last full-time parent-season you may have.
How much time is left before your nearly grown kids are truly out the door - and gone? Answer? Not much. The fact is that as they get older, outside influences become stronger on them.
Those outside influences are on an ever increasing scale in influencing them with dreams, goals, habits, and money management.
We, as parents, can learn from those outside influences - especially the positive ones.
Why do our young adults pay attention to them? What positive communication tools do those people have that we can adopt?
With those precious days we have left with our nearly-flown kids, we want to finish as a winner helping them hit life with momentum. How can we find out about those positive influences and use them for the greater good? Ask them!
1st Question. Ask them: "Hey, honey, can you name 2 or 3 people that you think have had the most positive influence on you so far?"
Then pause, let them reflect...and answer. (the silence is important to encourage them to respond).
"Knowing who your child thinks has a positive impact on them is pure parent gold".
2nd Question: "Why have they been so positive for you?" (notice the question is open-ended)
Then listen for these nuggets silently buried within their answers:
1. They probably feel appreciated by this person.
2. They probably feel respected by this person.
3. They probably feel "challenged" to be a better version of themselves.
3rd Question. Follow up with: What, Why, and How
1. What was the most important thing you learned from them?
2. Why do you think that is so important?
3. Have you had a chance to put that "thing/concept" into play recently? How?
The parent gold?
1. You can tailor your interaction with your child using this information. If a communication style works for a positive influencer, it just might work for you!
2. You can help them define goals accordingly.
3. You can see clearly why they value this person.
The parent personal follow up?
If it makes sense, send these positive influencers a thank you note. It will mean so much to them and will encourage them to keep on reaching out to our young adults. Your price? Just a stamp, a note, an email, a phone call. The gift they receive? Priceless.
Have a great week. And remember . . .
You CAN Have Success in the Middle of it ALL
Pam and Holly
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PS 2: Free Parent Guide
We've put together a free "8-Step Parent Planning Guide" that is stuffed full of information you might want to teach your "nearly-flown" child. It's a parent time-saver, and gives you concrete lessons to use at your discretion. Developed by parents previously in your shoes, we know you will find it super helpful.
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