Ask Your Teen This Question

First:  Full transparency here.  After you ask this question, you might not like the answer, but then again, you might love it.  After asking you will learn so much that you will be glad you asked.

Second: You can modify this question to cover an unlimited supply of topics.  You can re-purpose it at nearly any time you’d like.

Third: Few parents have probably ever asked this type of question before.  It’s rather simple in concept.

Fourth: Our teens (though this question can work at any age) are already “conditioned” to respond.

The question? 

“Honey, what grade would you give me on ___________?”

Our teens receive/earn grades every week day, and probably several times per day. They understand the concept of grades. They probably don’t like getting them, but it shows them where they are with respect their mastery of the topic involved.

Wouldn’t we parents like to know how we are doing on a particular topic? How many times have you wanted to be asked your opinion on something you’ve had to read/watch/attend and more?  The answer?  Probably more times than you can count. 

Insert Your Topic of Choice

“Honey, what grade would you give me on _______?”  You can insert nearly any topic you’d like.  “What grade would you give me on teaching you money management skills, patience, spending time with you, encouraging you, including your thoughts in family decisions and … and … and…

So ask them.  Most likely they will enjoy giving their parents an actual grade.  You may disagree with the grade they give you, but you will learn what they think about the topic and your parent skills on it.  

Since you’ve phrased your question in terms of something they can completely relate to – getting a grade – they are more likely to answer.  Grades are an emotional topic and scientists have discovered that in general, the teen brain is almost fully developed on the emotional side, but still a work in progress on the rational/language side. The question, therefore, plays right into where they are currently wired.

Have a great week and kudos to practicing those "listening" skills on your teen! 

                        YES, You CAN Have Success in the Middle of it ALL

Pam and Holly

Extra Teaching Ideas:
What are some of those bigger nuggets to teach your child before they fly? Here are 8 we feel are really important.